Let's talk about a subject you probably won't be expecting from me.
Coming to think of it, the name given them fits their role perfectly. They crush your heart. They crush your soul. They crush your life.
The longest crush I had lasted about 2 years. My average crush lasts about 3 months. I'm not sure how long people normally crush on someone, however in my opinion, my crushes last way . too. long.
The severity of the symptoms of a crush vary from person to person, but these are my symptoms:
1. I'm constantly on a look-out for them.
Or in real, authentic terms, I'm on stalker-mode. Let's say he's in my church. The minute I step in, my eyes go over the congregation. "Where is he?" my mind wonders. Once I spot him, that's when the glancing-every-10-seconds commences. Occasionally I'll realise that we're making eye contact, which is terrible because he probably thinks I am stalking him. Which I am not. Anyway, when that happens, I have to consciously make the effort to not look in his direction. For some reason, this is incredibly difficult to do. It's as if a battle between your heart and mind is taking place. Your heart says "Look, and be satisfied," while your mind says "Don't you dare look, or you'll appear desperate."
2. I feel upset when they post pictures with other girls.
All the guys I like are relatively popular and get along well with everyone. Unfortunately, 'everyone' includes girls. Bummer. So they post up pictures with all their girlfriends, their captions including inside jokes WHICH MADE ME SO MAD because 1. I don't understand what's going on and 2. it shows depth and fond emotions between the both of them.
Of course, when they post pictures with other girls, they so kindly tag them as well, making it easier for me to stalk the girl, leading me to my next step: Comparing. In this step, I compare myself with the other girl. "What makes her so worthy of his attention? She's great and all... but I'm great too............
3. My mind feels constantly tired.
"Are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day." This pick-up line would almost be truth, if only the order is reversed. He's not tired. I AM. I AM SO TIRED.
My mind is tired from contemplating the possible future together. My mind is tired of comparing myself to the other girls. My mind is tired from attempting to talk myself out of liking him.
Other symptoms include of course ecstasy at times of physical contact, constant replays of those moments as well as things he says to me, and smiling when I think of his smile.
Reading this post even now makes me feel like such a hopeless little teenager. I hope I grow out of this in my 20s. I really do.