What have I been up to?
- Working in my parent's kindergarten
- Taking Korean classes
- My usual fangirling activities (basically watching videos of koreans)
Working is really fun, I'm really attached to the kids. It's so great being able to hug little people freely and having cute kids play with your hair. Of course you have to overlook the vomit and them peeing on themselves.
So my original plan was to work until mid feb, then go to Kansas City (where my brother is) for a missions course called YWAM. It's 3 months of learning, 3 months of loving and sharing God's love to people. I was really excited for this, buying all the warm clothes and what not. I was accepted by the organisation, and I was pretty much set to go. But then my Visa didn't go through.
I woke up early in the morning to make sure I wont be late for my 'interview' (for a business visa to the US, this is needed). I had to surrender my phone and ipod. I went through the gates by myself, and took a number and sat down. I waited at the room across the place where the interviews were held. When my number was called, i took awhile to walk there, and the lady had already called a different number. I went up to her anyway. Even though I straight-up apologised, she was really mad. "Do you know how many times I called your number?! Pay attention! There's so many people! Ugh. Stand aside. Wait awhile." So wait I did.
For 2.5 hours. I just stared at the numbers change and heard the beeping sounds for 150 minutes for fear of missing out my number again. I was the second last person there already. By this time I'm slightly annoyed and was feeling very fragile because this is a process I've never been through before.
Finally I just went up to one of the interviewers and asked if i could just be interviewed cos there was no one left.
"Oh. Sorry about that....dont know how they missed you out," "That's okay." I was just relieved that I could finally get this over with. My dad ran me through the process. He told me it's real easy.
The interviewer ran through a series of questions. He asked it in a rude tone, which just really puts me off inside, but outside, makes me really timid and not able to answer well. I thought I was doing okay though. "I can't give you your visa. Your ties with the organisation aren't strong enough, " "but my-" "Let me finish. You just graduated and just started working. I'm gonna cancel your tourist visa from 2007 as well. bye"
(to his co workers) "Yup that was the last one. we're done"
Somehow I managed a weak smile and a slight bow to him and even the security guard. But once I reached my dad I just cried and cried. It was the the mix of being ill-treated; my hopes being crushed.There was more to it though. I was so certain that God wanted me to go there. I even had confirmations. Everyone I talked with about it was supportive. So when this happened....it was a big blow.
I spent time with God after this, to hear from him more clearly. I dont know why he let this happen, but I know that His plans are perfect. I know that I belong to Him and that he will direct my paths. I have learnt that I have to be flexible to Him. To follow his exact plan for my life, and not just follow a path that 'is a good idea', but not His idea for me. I was discouraged by this at first, but reading his Word and being in his presence just gave me peace during this time.
Me and my parents still feel that I should do missions before I go to college, so I will try applying 2 a different country. This time I am aware to be more prayerful, and to spend time everyday to hear more clearly from my Father. I pray that he will have mercy not to put me through such a traumatic situation again.
I pretty much wrote this so I wont have to recount this story with my own mouth again cos if i do i might cry and i hate crying in front of people.
If you actually read tis wholething, You're amazing for caring that much. Love <3 nbsp="" p="">