It hurts.
Here I am, 6am in the morning, dreadfully awake and drenched in tears. Something not uncommon for me in the past 2 months. I tend to feel things deeply, especially as it pertains to relationships/friendships. The love I feel for my friends at times often scares me. I don’t particularly like it, as people come and go (including me) and also it’s just cheesy as heck. This was my first long-term relationship. I poured all my emotions, thoughts and devotion into it. I tried not to show it, making sure I spent lots of time with other people, and by limiting my social media of him. It was also (I hoped) a self defence mechanism that would help me get over him if a break-up happened. I think the basic gist of what happened is that I didn’t fully know what I wanted or needed in a relationship. And the things I did know, I didn’t insist on or communicate it well. I didn’t communicate effectively what was going on inside of me, the uncertainty and unease I felt. And then there’s the dist