Uncomfortable
I've just listened to a podcast that I've found deeply inspiring. It's episode 2 of Agencies of Design, called 'Storytelling and Migration ft. Alicy Aedy'. She's a photojournalist that I've only heard about through her dating relationship with Jack Harries. That's something to say of the influencing power of relationships, but anyway.
She spoke with so much passion about the causes she cares about, but what made it so real and deeply touching to me was the authenticity and vulnerability in which she talked about her struggles in her journey to getting to where she is now. She talked about feeling inadequate and underqualified to do what she was doing. She's a woman in a male-dominated arena (photography) and she was intimidated by all the jargon and she wasn't a professional photographer. But she's passionate about connecting with people and telling their stories, and using that to drive change. Photography for her is the tool to get there. I love that.
Recently I've been seeing the importance of speaking up about issues, and I've discovered that I feel empowered by it. I'm becoming increasingly aware of the influence that all of us can have on the people and environment around us and I want to do learn more, speak up more and do more. However, I often feel intimidated and hold back because I feel like I don't know enough. I sometimes feel like "Who am I to speak up about these things?" They addressed this feeling in the podcast and said that to speak up, you just need to keep asking questions, even when you don't know the answers. Because without asking, there is no starting point.
Alice talked about her experiences in documenting refugees' plight with stories and also seeing firsthand the consequences of climate change and how that is affecting people in a very real way. Those that contribute the least to climate change are the ones that feel it the most. I would like to learn up more about that too.
All this was indeed very inspiring and make me think about what I am passionate about/enjoy. I've always enjoyed traveling especially because of the growth that I get because of it. My mind has been opened and stretched in ways that it never would have if I didn't travel. I've wanted to be a missionary or teach English abroad, and in reflection its definitely because I always have this wish of being "out there", exploring new territory physically as well as mentally. But I also want to help and serve others, I feel like that is key to my role that I should play while on this earth. They say that your purpose on earth is to be found in the place where your passions and service to others collide.
I'm starting to feel uncomfortable again. I've been quite contented in working in the kindergarten with the family business, I have great working hours and lots of privileges, but whenever I take the time to think more, like now, I get this feeling that I need to be "out there" again. I want to learn and grow very actively again. So I thought, maybe do another degree? But university is a huge cost, and I think about what others would think of me if I return to study, especially if I do a degree in something quite different to what I've already done. I'm aware that I can learn a lot in my own time with my own studies, my time during MCO proved that to me. Also I can learn and grow through a new job in a different field. My biggest dilemma for a few years now is whether I want to commit to working in the kindergarten as it's a family business and my parents are pressuring me and my brother to take over the business. At the beginning of this year, I was quite set on working apart from my parents next year. But I've been considering staying because 1. the convenience and 2. the prospect of new uses/new ideas for the school. They want me and my brother to initiate on new ideas.
I kinda like where my life is at now, climbing, work and soon to be volunteer teaching and it all feels very comfortable. But I have this nudge that is growing in me, stirred up more by this podcast, that I want to be putting myself out there again.
It's so easy to slide into comfort and complacency, not giving my all and working with passion. Recently I've been finding more passion in climbing than I have in my work. At least while I'm at the kindergarten, I should work hard in driving change where I'm at.
Sorry this has been a really messy post, but i'm just using it to process and document my thoughts.
till the next time,
deb
She spoke with so much passion about the causes she cares about, but what made it so real and deeply touching to me was the authenticity and vulnerability in which she talked about her struggles in her journey to getting to where she is now. She talked about feeling inadequate and underqualified to do what she was doing. She's a woman in a male-dominated arena (photography) and she was intimidated by all the jargon and she wasn't a professional photographer. But she's passionate about connecting with people and telling their stories, and using that to drive change. Photography for her is the tool to get there. I love that.
Recently I've been seeing the importance of speaking up about issues, and I've discovered that I feel empowered by it. I'm becoming increasingly aware of the influence that all of us can have on the people and environment around us and I want to do learn more, speak up more and do more. However, I often feel intimidated and hold back because I feel like I don't know enough. I sometimes feel like "Who am I to speak up about these things?" They addressed this feeling in the podcast and said that to speak up, you just need to keep asking questions, even when you don't know the answers. Because without asking, there is no starting point.
Alice talked about her experiences in documenting refugees' plight with stories and also seeing firsthand the consequences of climate change and how that is affecting people in a very real way. Those that contribute the least to climate change are the ones that feel it the most. I would like to learn up more about that too.
All this was indeed very inspiring and make me think about what I am passionate about/enjoy. I've always enjoyed traveling especially because of the growth that I get because of it. My mind has been opened and stretched in ways that it never would have if I didn't travel. I've wanted to be a missionary or teach English abroad, and in reflection its definitely because I always have this wish of being "out there", exploring new territory physically as well as mentally. But I also want to help and serve others, I feel like that is key to my role that I should play while on this earth. They say that your purpose on earth is to be found in the place where your passions and service to others collide.
I'm starting to feel uncomfortable again. I've been quite contented in working in the kindergarten with the family business, I have great working hours and lots of privileges, but whenever I take the time to think more, like now, I get this feeling that I need to be "out there" again. I want to learn and grow very actively again. So I thought, maybe do another degree? But university is a huge cost, and I think about what others would think of me if I return to study, especially if I do a degree in something quite different to what I've already done. I'm aware that I can learn a lot in my own time with my own studies, my time during MCO proved that to me. Also I can learn and grow through a new job in a different field. My biggest dilemma for a few years now is whether I want to commit to working in the kindergarten as it's a family business and my parents are pressuring me and my brother to take over the business. At the beginning of this year, I was quite set on working apart from my parents next year. But I've been considering staying because 1. the convenience and 2. the prospect of new uses/new ideas for the school. They want me and my brother to initiate on new ideas.
I kinda like where my life is at now, climbing, work and soon to be volunteer teaching and it all feels very comfortable. But I have this nudge that is growing in me, stirred up more by this podcast, that I want to be putting myself out there again.
It's so easy to slide into comfort and complacency, not giving my all and working with passion. Recently I've been finding more passion in climbing than I have in my work. At least while I'm at the kindergarten, I should work hard in driving change where I'm at.
Sorry this has been a really messy post, but i'm just using it to process and document my thoughts.
till the next time,
deb
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